Saturday, 24 November 2012

To Kerry

My thoughts on this are late.  HOWEVER... I'm working on the basis that as a fellow twin Mummy, Kerry would appreciate that sometimes things go to plan..but more often, when you have twins et al, they don't!

I first came across Kerry's blog shortly after I started my blog.  I launched into my own blog without ever really reading other blogs, a handful, at best.  I had no idea, for example, that there is an entire world of bloggers "out there".   Only when I'd written a few posts here, did I start to have a look around.

And one of the first blogs I found, was Kerry's.  I did what I always do -  I read the intro/biography and then read from the beginning.  I found her posts honest, loving & hilarious at times, and loved her blog description of "because eight arms are never enough".  Yes, as a fellow twin Mummy with another little one, I recognised that feeling!

But then I read the more current posts, where suddenly she stopped writing.  Her husband wrote instead.  He told Kerry's blog readers that she's suffered an aneurysm, and was seriously poorly.  And from there, my real relationship with her blog began.

We might be friends, through the twin Mummy thing.  But instead, as well as being a Mummy of multiples, I am also someone who has experienced the lightening strike of a brain aneurysm.  In 2003, my Mum had one...several hours later, she died in hospital.  In 2010, my Dad also had one...a couple of hours later, he died in hospital.  Both my parents were happy & entirely healthy.... both my parents were, within a matter of hours from the outset of their aneurysms...gone.   I quote my brother here "I thought lightening didn't strike the same place twice".

I don't mean this a glum reflection on the prognosis for Kerry, I mean this as a very positive thing.  She got through her "lightening strike".... she's made progress.  She's had a big setback, and currently has been moved back from her local hospital to her regional one.

But she's battling, she's fighting.  She's here. There are so many reasons to be positive and hopeful.  Recovery will be a long journey, but recovery is where she is heading.

I cannot imagine what her husband is going through.  I cannot imagine what her children are going through (though I do also know that children are so very resilient), that Multiple Daddy needs only to know & be reassured that he is doing just fine in terms of supporting & guiding their children through this indescribably difficult time - but if support is offered along the way, MultipleDaddy, then never turn it down, as it is only a potentially positive thing for you all, a different outlet,  and never a reflection on your ability to cope, simply an additonal support for all of your well being at the moment; likewise if things are hard then there are organisations who can offer support to your little folk - you are never, ever, needing to cope with all of this on your own.

So, join with me... say a prayer, or wish on a whatever you do when times are hard, because we ALL, each and every single one of us, believe in something - and right now, the important thing is to wish Kerry a good, smooth recovery from hereon, and to wish that she will be back with her family as soon as can be possible.


Monday, 19 November 2012

Reasons To Be Cheerful


I'm joining in the Reasons To Be Cheerful linky again this week, hosted by MummyFromTheHeart.

After a short period of time of feeling unexpectedly & inexplicably glum, I am feeling  much brighter and more positive again, and wanted to share my Reasons To Be Cheerful, which are also the reasons why my mood has lifted;

1. A visit from a good friend -  A good friend of mine and 2 of her children visited me last week.  In my miserable mood, I was so tempted to cancel her visit, feeling I wouldn't be good company.  But she's a stubborn friend; the type who if I cancelled would probably still turn up anyway, so I kept our "date".  I am so glad that I did.  Not only was it lovely to spend time with her and her family, as always, but I found myself catching & sharing her excitement as she makes big plans for the future. It was also good to chat through a couple of my worries and challenges at the moment, and be reminded that every family has its battles.  It was a lovely day.

2. The support from my husband - I had one of those "Where is my life going?" conversations with Andy (my husband) last week.  It didn't result in any answers or plans, but I did realise that whatever I do in life, whatever decisions I make, Andy will always support me.  Once I do decide where I'm going (metaphorically speaking), I know that whatever path I take will be so much easier knowing I have his support behind me.  I realise I am very lucky.

3. A day at the park - A day at the park, before the twins started school, was a regular occurrence.  But since they've been at school we rarely do anything on a school-night, especially now the nights are getting dark earlier (maybe a play in the garden but even that is becoming a rarity).  Weekends are a mixture of relaxing, seeing friends or family and trying desperately to keep on top of housework/laundry and ever-growing to-do lists.  Yesterday afternoon, we decided, on a whim, to abandon all jobs & chores and take the children to the park for the afternoon.  It was cold, it was muddy, but the children (and the grown-ups) had a fab time.  We all came back covered in mud & giggling.  It was a precious afternoon, and a reminder of how unimportant the dusting really is.

So come on, your turn, what are your Reasons To Be Cheerful...?

Tuesday, 6 November 2012

"Our First Parents' Evening" - Reasons To Weep

We had our first  ever Parents' Evening tonight.

Although next year we'll probably arrange some babysitting, this time round I am glad that we took our 3 little monkeys along with us.  If we hadn't, I suspect Andy & I would've simply sat side by side and blubbed.  The reasons being;

1. L - She is doing wonderfully with her work, which we'd guessed was the case.  The one aspect of her school life we were keen to hear about, was her confidence and social skills.  Where she has, for quite some time, demonstrated a natural ability to concentrate and learn, she has struggled with shyness and a wish to play with others but not being confident enough to do so.  Her confidence took a huge bashing when we lost Polly & my Dad, and even more so when we had our house fire  (more about that another time) - she developed an awful stammer, and was utterly terrified of smoke/steam/loud noises for months afterwards.  Even leaving her at pre-school was often fraught. She's come a long way since then, and we heard tonight that she seems happy at school, and has plenty of friends.  We're delighted.

2. H - When H was born, he had to fight to live.  When he left hospital it was predicted we could expect some form of physical and/or learning disability.  He had close monitoring and support for the first 2 years of his life... and faced other predictions along the way, about his his future.  One by one, he has surpassed every expectation made of him from his early days.  His determination and a lot of luck has won through.  We have never pushed him; we have simply tried to support & encourage him... and tonight we heard he's doing great in some areas, and is even ahead in some others.  We're delighted.

3. Baby M - As we unloaded the children out of the car, we realised she'd done a poo.  With no time to change her, we did what any parents would do (wouldn't you??), and hoped for the best that we'd "get away with it".  We almost did, but allowing her some freedom in the school hall so that we could vaguely concentrate on the conversations that we were there to have, she proceeded to scrunch up any errant papers that she found - one of the teacher's post-it notes; part of the wall display, etc.  With a brief interlude whilst she threw herself lovingly at every adult in the vicinity, as though they were her long-lost parents *rolls eyes wearily*... and then, just as we thought we'd got away with the whole poo situation, the teacher swept Baby M up for a cuddle to distract her from another act of "your card is already marked" vandalism.    Baby M's bottom was far  too close to the teacher's nose.  We left shortly after that.

Like I say, we'll sort out a babysitter for next year.

Our chalk & cheese twins may have trodden the same path in life...but each of them have had very different and individual journeys. We are very, very proud of them both.  X

Thursday, 1 November 2012

Reasons To Be Cheerful

I am joining  in with a new blog hop (new to me, I mean) this week.  

It's called Reasons To Be Cheerful.  It speaks for itself, really.   

Do take a look at the other blogs in the linky, and the reasons for their writers' cheerfulness this week.
I'd like to add that MummyFromTheHeart, who runs this linky, is one of the voices of the ONE Campaign. Inspirational. 

So here we go, my reasons to be cheerful this week are:

1. We've all settled back into school after the half-term break, and after the initial first couple of over-tired evenings (H fell asleep in his tea the first day back!), we've re-found our routine surprisingly easily.

2. I am feeling very cheerful & encouraged after the responses to my fairly desperate blog post about our difficult nights with Baby M.  I have had so many replies via my blog, Facebook, Twitter & email, with lots of different ideas and suggestions, that I now feel confident that we can find a solution that will work for us.  And the support...just the people who've given virtual hugs or reassurance has picked up my fairly glum, sleep-deprived mood, too.  I'm very grateful. x

3. We have a family Halloween/Bonfire Night party this weekend. It's with the outlaws (my husband's family) who I love spending time with, and who, since the twins started school, we haven't managed to see much of.  Looking forward to it!

So, come on then, what are your reasons to be cheerful this week?